No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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