You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
