i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
