East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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