how can u be prego again
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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