So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
