People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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