She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
