I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
