It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's just like the Real World with babies
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
