I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
