I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
