i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
