I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
