i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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