She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
