shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
