Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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