If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Randomize
