Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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