I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
