I'm jealous of your bromance
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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