dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize