I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize