areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
