george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
