you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
