Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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