She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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