Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
