Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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