halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
