Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
