I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
