If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
