Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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