so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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