I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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