the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
