She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize