Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
