She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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