WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize