you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
