Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
