Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
