Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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