I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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