Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
