yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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