It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize