so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
