Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
