so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
