I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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