he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
