I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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