If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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