We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
