i would punch a child for taco bell
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
