Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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