Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
