I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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